We’re often told otherwise, but truth is, life is about money. Because we cannot live without it, because life without money is so painful.
This is civilization.
Latest Updates RSS
-
JX
-
JX
Apparently you still don’t know what it means to give me respect. Apparently despite wanting me to change you still treat me like nothing but a stupid fool. Apparently despite saying you trust me you still don’t give me the freedom I need.
-
JX
i’m actually very tired and i have spent the whole day ever since i came back from school, dozing off while doing my report. i have no idea why i am feeling so tired and i hope all the exhaustion can go away because it is getting really tough trying to keep awake.
and if i was a cranky bitch right now tomorrow i’ll be even more depressed and cranky because i have an 8am lesson tomorrow fml
-
JX
Haha i11usions is in operation again~ I’m blogging all over the place
-
JX
生命为何总爱戏弄我们？我们也只能默默地，让它为所欲为，傻傻的，什么也不能做。
我们很可笑吧？就像白痴一样，让你耍。
好玩吗？
Life, you are a fucking bitch.
-
JX
So many thoughts. Like ‘what is life?’
Then I found the answer. That life is about doing work. And competing with the millions of others to see who can do work more efficiently. Whose brain can work better whose mouth can produce better sounding conversations more pleasant to the ears whose personality can make them more friends -
JX
Talk about having 5 day weeks.
Now I’m begging to just have a 6 day week.
Is there not a day I can stop doing work?
Sigh. Recess week hasn’t even started. The last week hasn’t even ended. I find myself drowning in a pile of shit work. 1 assignment down, 2 projects, 2 lab reports, more tutorials, and more tests and midterms to study for. 1 week to get everything done.
I can’t seem to differentiate weekdays and weekends anymore. I’ve lost track of time and the value of time, because all I’m doing is just running and running, running against time, racing and racing… to try to catch up. I feel guilty even just trying to catch up on my sleep that I missed in the past week. It’s barely past half of the whole semester yet.
One school semester. Can take away 10 years of my life.
-
JX
Weekends, rest days, recess week.
BULLSHIT.
In this society there is not a thing called rest that exists.
Projects, tutorials, assignments, reports, tests, quizzes, exams…
Why is it that it seems like no matter how much I try, no matter how hard I work, no matter how much effort I put in, it seems I’m always lagging behind? That I’m always trying to find time to catch up with what I can’t catch, while everyone is just zooming past? Maybe this low-capacity, slow, brain of mine isn’t working hard enough?
Time after time I tell myself I’ll just try my best. But what is my best? I don’t even know my limits, I don’t know how much more I can stretch or push myself. I don’t know how much more, before I snap and break.
School, of all the education you should be giving me, all the knowledge you should be passing to me, all the things you should be teaching me, you have taught me that this whole system, this society, are so imperfect. You have let me realized that your whole system is so flawed.
You. You are the best way to screw someone’s life.
-
JX
My mom can be the worst, most anal, most disgusting bitch sometimes. Sometimes I feel like I can live a more peaceful and less stressful life if I were living on my own. I cannot keep up with her random pms-es and mood swings, the way she can be smiling one moment and throwing things around the next, and she claims I’m like that?? I hate how she thinks it’s ok for her to be in a bad mood and get angry and frustrated at everything, anything, but totally wrong and rude for me to. Am I less human than she is in any way? She doesn’t know the reason why we’re not talking or communicating like a family is because sometimes I don’t even want to bother talking to her because we will eventually end up back in square one, or worse. And I don’t need her to make my life more stressful and give me a bigger headache than I already have from my own problems. I can no longer tolerate her unreasonable demands and thoughts. I’m extremely tired and sick of all this shit, so please just let me off.
My dad can be the most irritating ass at times because the only conclusion we ever get from any of our conversations is that he’s always right and no matter how much more reason I have than him, every single quarrel only ends up with him insisting he’s right. I cannot understand his stubbornness and how he can be so sure he’s always right. I cannot stand how he’s always not willing to give in, and it always either ends up that we stop talking after a quarrel, or me giving in. I’m so tired of having to keep giving in even when I know whatever I say has reason and is right. And that on average we converse less than 10 times a day, sometimes makes me feel awkward around him, makes me feel like a stranger.
I hate that the first thing my parents ever do is to lose their mind even before using any bit of it that they have to think and consider the situation. That they never felt it was necessary to give respect, that it was human for them to make mistakes but just intolerable for me to. And it’s really suffocating.
It’s funny isn’t it? That it’s hard to communicate with my family, so hard to even understand and try to give in to each other. Because we all never listen.
Here I am trying to survive from the stress I already have in life. And it feels like my family is just trying to drive me crazy. I feel like I’m almost at the edge.
I always just hoped and wished for things to get better on its own, but they never got better. I think one day I might just lose it.
-
JX
I wish I was a rich kid who never had to worry about money. I wish people who have money and are living in peace and happiness would stop complaining. I wish for a lot of things. But you can’t get everything you wish for.
People who’re in a worse state than me are probably thinking the same. Or maybe they’re happier. Idk.
I wish people who didn’t know a thing would just shut up.
I wish people who don’t understand would just stop pretending that they do.
I wish people who didn’t care to think would just go away.
